Lorals

Your Oral Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

Your Oral Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

Hello Lorals lovers! If you’re like us, you leave 15 minutes early for work when Mercury is in retrograde because you just know the universe’s out-of-whack energy is going to cause a traffic jam or three. Why not look to the stars for sex advice, too? We’ve been feeling like we’re in a sexual rut recently, so we decided to turn to the zodiac for advice on how to switch things up without upsetting the delicate balance of the universe. Without further ado, our resident astrologist reveals how you should spice up your oral sex game this week, based on your star sign. 

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Aquarius rules the zodiac’s eleventh house of teamwork and friendship, and your social skills are off the charts! You make connections easily and thrive off of socializing. So this week, add a new person to your sexy time. If you and your partner aren’t looking for a threesome right now, never fear. Another way to add socializing to your sexual life is to head to a bar with your partner and get a little flirting on together. Buy someone you both find attractive a drink, go online and strike up some anonymous sexy chat in a chatroom, or just watch porn together. There are a lot of ways to add a third (or fourth or fifth) to your play without even having to say hello to a stranger.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces is symbolized by fish, and while there are many metaphorical meanings to this symbol, there’s also something literal about it: you really love water. Whether the swimming pool was your favorite place as a kid or the ocean makes you feel safe and loved, the sensation of being wet is always one of your favorites. Now, oral sex is inherently wet, but lube can take that to the next level. Use a good water-based lube with your partner this week. Put it on your finger and draw little circles around their nipple, or put it between your Lorals and your skin for extra slippy-slidey fun. 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Aries is ruled by Mars, the fiery red planet and mythological god of war and aggression. You have a lot of energy and emotions, but try not to start any fights with your partner. Instead, get some of that aggression out this week by enjoying some dominant underwear-ripping play. Lorals are made for one-time use, making them perfect for kinky roleplaying where you rip the panties right off your partner. Hot!! 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Like a bull, there’s not much middle ground with a Taurus. When it comes to getting what you want, you charge full speed ahead towards your target. During sex you work towards the Big O goal for both you and your partner like a coach ushering your team through the final two minutes of the big playoff game. This week, try to chill out a little bit and remember orgasming isn’t the only pleasurable part of a sexual experience. Take a few CBD gummies (or light up a joint if it’s legal in your state!), put on some chill, sensual music, and even bring out the incense. Just spend some time playing with your partner, enjoying them without feeling the pressure of making it to O (though...if you do that’s an added bonus!).

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini is ruled by the planet of communication, Mercury. Lean into that this week by adding some dirty talk into your oral sex experience. Try going down on your partner while they tell you exactly what they want you to do with them. Or if you’re receiving, try getting really specific with what you’re saying to your partner. Instead of “This feels so good” try saying “Your tongue on my clit makes me want to explode from the inside out like a dying star”. Mixing up your normal reactions will also encourage your partner to try new things and take your oral experience to the next level. 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

The moon is your ruling planet, and Cancer, you’re kidding yourself if you don’t think your moods can change as quickly as the face of that waning and waxing space rock. But being a sensitive sign can be a good thing, too! Lean into your desire to feel the full spectrum of sensations by having your partner lick you from the asshole all the way to the clit. Getting the sensations of both nerve-heavy areas, as well as feeling your partner’s tongue on that super sensitive middle area, will satisfy your changing desires. It’s an especially good move to do while wearing your Lorals, because you don’t have to worry about any germs. 


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

The earth revolves around the sun, and little Leo, you live life like the world revolves around you. Take that high self esteem to the next level and bring a full length mirror into your play. Asking your partner to give you oral sex while you watch them going down on you in a mirror is the peak way to feel like the star of the show and adds a perfect little bit of excitement for lions this week.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Virgos are famously analytical and critical, especially of themselves. That means you love to give help, advice, oral. But it can be harder for you open up enough to receive. This week, ask your partner for what you want. Ask them to make you the star of the show and give you oral. That might sound simple, but it can be really hard for you. If you’re a little too in your head and having a hard time letting go enough to enjoy, it might be helpful to pull out your Lorals so you don’t have to bare it all. That way you can turn off the super Virgo part of your brain wondering if you taste OK, if you should have shaved or showered, etc. 

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

The scales of justice are your symbol for a reason: Libras are obsessed with fairness, justice, and balance in relationships. During sex, that can mean you feel off balance unless both you and your partner come. That’s not necessarily a bad thing! But there’s a lot to be gained by giving your time and energy up to your partner’s pleasure while expecting nothing in return. This week, try out something new. Maybe rimming, which can make your partner feel amazing. If you’ve never tried rimming because you’re worried about germs, Lorals provide the perfect protection while letting your partner feel every single thing. They even stretch so you can dig your tongue, or a finger, in deep.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpios are ruled by Pluto, the planet of power and control. Take that into the bedroom by introducing some restraints into your play. You don’t have to buy fancy new restraints to do this. Just grab two bandannas, and tie one lightly around your partner’s eyes, and one around their wrists, binding their hands above their head. Then perform oral sex on them until they orgasm harder than ever. The restraints will awaken your sense of control and make your giving experience more exciting, while the blindfold will help heighten the rest of your partner’s senses, making your usual moves feel that much better.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is all about adventure and wanderlust. This week, try bringing your famous sense of travel into your sex life by getting a little playful with your partner outside the home. Maybe that means sneaking into the park after midnight, or just getting it on high-school style in the back seat of your car. The excitement of switching up the atmosphere is a perfect (and totally free!) way to spice up your sexual routine. If you or your partner is nervous about getting too naked in public? We think you know what we’re going to say … but in case you don’t, Lorals are a great way to get down in nature without feeling as vulnerable or worrying about getting leaves you-know-where.


Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

Your ruling planet, Saturn, is the universe’s symbol of tough love, so you’re more likely than the rest of the zodiac to understand the value of sacrifice and hard work. You’ll put off fun until tomorrow in exchange for getting work done today. That means when it comes to oral, you always give first, and often just put off receiving if there isn’t enough time. But not this week! It’s time you learn that giving and receiving pleasure can go hand in hand. That’s right, we’re talking 69ing, mutual satisfaction, simultaneous pleasure. It might feel a little out of your wheelhouse, but trust us, you’ll love it.

Have a great week, astrological angels! And happy licking. ;)