Is the only salad you’ve ever tossed a Kale Caesar? That’s OK. Recently, it feels like everyone is talking about rimming—but there’s still a lot of confusion surrounding anal play as a whole.
One thing’s for sure: stigma and lack of education are preventing a lot of people who want to try rimming from actually tossing the salad. And since Lorals is all about helping break down the barriers that make people say “No” when they really want to say “Yes,” we decided to lend a hand in the education department.
This guide isn’t just a beginner’s guide to rimming, it’s an all-encompassing digital handbook on how to feel good and confident before, during, and after anal rimming.
What is rimming?
OK, first of all, let’s play Merriam Webster for a minute and get some basic definitions out of the way—just in case you thought you were here to read about knitting techniques or something.
You may have heard the phrases anilingus, rim job, tossing salad, ass-eating, rim shot, or pink-to-stink in passing. But the actual term (AKA “rimming”), is what kids these days most often use to refer to stimulating someone else’s anus using their tongue and mouth. It’s not a lot more complicated than that. If it’s mouth-on-butt, it’s rimming.
So, what’s a rim job?
A “rim job” is just shorthand for rimming. “A rim job is oral-anal sexual contact,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., and resident sexologist at Good Vibrations. “Any person of any gender can be giver or receiver; a rim job can be ‘foreplay’ before anal penetration or anal sex, or done as a stand-alone activity.”
A lot of people focus on licking the outer rim (hence the name), but rimming can also involve dipping inside the booty hole. Many people like licking the perineum, which is the stretch of skin between the anus and the genitals. Some people like to tease the hole with their fingers. There’s no one way to rim. As long as your end goal is to make it feel good, you’re headed in the right direction.
What does a rim job feel like?
OK, so now that you’ve got the what, here’s the why. First of all, there are a ton of nerve endings near the anus that make it a pleasurable honey pot. Not to mention, there’s a possibility of stimulating the G-Spot through anal play as well. Take it from Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical Center and author of Pleasure, who told SELF, "The tissue between the rectum and vagina is so very thin that sometimes anal pressure is transferred to the anterior wall of the vagina, stimulating the G-spot very well.”
Second, there are a lot of psychological reasons people are sexually interested in rimming. If it’s your first time, then the sensation is totally new, which is always fun and interesting to explore. Anal play is also considered a “taboo” sex act, which can be exciting for some.
“Many people loooove the sensation of rimming because there are so many sensitive anal nerve endings to stimulate there (and let's face it, tucked between the cheeks and in our pants, the anus often goes without much direct contact),” adds Queen. “The receiver can feel a lot of pleasure from this stimulation; it’s arousing and in some cases, it also really relaxes the anus.”
How do you rim?
If you’re looking for real down and dirty techniques, grab yourself a copy of The New Sex Bible by Dr. Jessica O'Reilly. She describes such smooth moves as the "Slurpee," which is when you thrust your tongue flat against your partner’s asshole, letting it make loud slurping noises: "Slurp away as though you’re sucking on a bottle." Sweet! Another tip? Healthline lets us in on a super seductive take: Your breath against your partner’s skin can be hugely hot, and especially on the thighs or booty. The warm but light sensation really eroticizes the moment.
We do have one suggestion for you: multi-task. When you perform oral sex on your partner’s genitals, you usually make some sexy eye contact, use your hands to touch other parts of their body while your mouth is going to town, try out some dirty talk, etc. You can think of rimming as oral sex, just on the anus. Your tongue is only one part of the equation.
“Asking for feedback helps the giver home in on what pleases the receiver the most-—licking on and around the anal opening is probably the most basic part of rimming,” says Queen. “And just as with cunnilingus, you can do it in the way the partners enjoy most: back-and-forth flicks, a soft tongue tracing circles, and light suction.”
Read more: The Complete Guide to Anilingus
Is there prep work involved?
Cleanliness is an important factor when it comes to rimming, because, bluntly, the proximity to poop can lead to infections if you aren’t careful. So being very clean, especially if you have body hair around the anus, is important.
Communication is also important. Enthusiastic consent should always be the standard, but when you’re rimming it’s extra important because you can’t always see your partner’s face to read their body language to see cues about what they are and aren’t enjoying.
“Not everyone wants anal stimulation, so first, make sure that both partners want to explore this,” says Queen. “If you’re using a barrier method like a dental dam or plastic wrap, put a little lubricant on the anus side; this helps the sensuality of the act translate better through the barrier.”
Pro tip: if you’re nervous about germs, keep some Lorals handy! Lorals are sexy latex panties that let you feel every single sensation, are stretchy enough to allow some light tongue penetration, but keep bacteria on one side and your partner’s tongue on the other. They’re a perfect way to ease into rimming!
Read more: 106 of the Best Slang For Cunnilingus
Have fun.
This last one is a statement, not a question. Whether you’re on the receiving end or the giving end, the most important thing is to have fun. Relax and get silly with it! If you aren’t having fun, then don’t do it. But, if you don’t try, then you’ll never know. Remember, sexual pleasure is all about experimenting and exploring, both in partnered and solo situations. We hope this article gave you the basic info you need to make like Chopped and toss that salad!
Written by Tabitha Britt, a freelance writer and editor. She's also the founding-editor-in-chief of DO YOU ENDO, the first (and only) no-BS digital magazine for individuals with endometriosis by individuals with endometriosis in the US. You can find her byline in a variety of publications including Insider, Medical News Today, and Kinkly.
Reviewed and Edited by Sarah Brown, a sex and intimacy educator with 10 years of experience designing and marketing intimate wellness and pleasure products.
